The sour taste of bad scripts

I have often said that ANYONE can write a screenplay. They don't have many pages or words. They have strict formatting guidelines. They have formulas and predetermined plot points that make it easy for any writer to plug in information and churn out a first draft on the backend. I think every writer has experienced the 1-2 week first draft; and every new writer brags about it. "I was in a zone, man. I was like rattling off 10 to 20 pages a night. I was inspired." That's how easy it is to write a screenplay.

It's also very easy to write well in a screenplay. Go to any screenwriting message board that allows people to post their pages online. Pithy action. Witty dialog. Characters with bite. Scenes that pop. There's some good shit out there. Let's face it, there's a good chunk of writers out there who actually know how to write.

So why are most scripts AWFUL?

Every writer believes that they are undiscovered genius, but all these wannabes have clogged the industry pipeline with an unrelenting barrage of shit. Woe is to be that poor suffering inspired writer who has found the gateway to Hollywood locked because it's the only way to keep the garbage out.

The fact that every writer believes every other writer sucks must prove something. Writing is self-delusion. And writers need to open their eyes to the hard truth that their scripts are the feces that plug the toilets of this town.

And why is that?

Because despite all their brilliance, despite their great scenes and wonderful dialog, the script fell flat. The script was less than the sum of its parts.

And boy do I see this all the time. Decent scene upon decent scene linked together by the bonds of moronic plot devices. And while I could pluck out any page and it would read smooth and pure, when it's all together, it can't hold up its end of the story.

That is why the story is the key. And writers don't pay attention to that. They don't work at making sure their scenes build, one atop another. They don't give their scripts the "moron meter" or simple logic tests. They write circles around their problems instead of backing up and taking a path that wouldn't lead to those problems. When they force their characters to make stupid choices in order to move the script from plot point A to plot point B, they rationalize it with, "Nobody will care" or "It worked in so and so."

I've used this analogy before - Figuring out a story is like climbing a mountain. In theory, you can start anywhere from the base of the mountain and reach the summit. But in reality, there are only a few legitimate paths to the top. If you don't take the time to find those paths, you'll be off trail, you'll be bushwhacking through streams, you'll be walking in circles, you might never reach the summit.

You must attack your script from the right direction. No amount of fancy writing and great characters can save a bad story. At the end of the day, the script will leave a bad taste in the reader's mouth.

As is my mantra in this blog, writers must hold themselves to higher standards. They have to force themselves to do better.