Daily Rants

I'm going to start a new exercise that will hopefully be more worthwhile than a complete waste of time. It seems that common, everyday annoyances happen, well... every day. I can't help but feel there might be some value in writing down my frequent rants. There might be a script someday that needs one of those "Ha! Everyone's been there!" moments, and now I will have jotted all of mine down for the entire world to see. Luckily, nobody reads this blog. I like that about this blog. It's a personal journal that I've set in the middle of the room and dared the world to read. Not that I've put anything personal in here. Yet...

Anyway, for my inaugural rant-

1. I just booked a flight and (thank you technological age), they sent me an email trip itinerary. And so I read it to verify I hadn't lapsed into retardedness and booked the wrong day. So, I read it. And read it... Ummm... where the F is my flight info?! How many warnings, notices, disclaimers, and special offers can they pack around my arrival times and flight numbers? Oh, about 20k worth! That would have practically bankrupted my old hotmail account. What the hell? Does anyone read the reams of fine print they send in those? Hell, give me the disclaimers when I book the ticket. When you send me my itinerary, just send the f-ing flight info! That's all I want! That's all I'm planning on printing out! Maybe send a phone number I can call if there's a colossal, rake to the balls, screw up. Why do I need to know that you have a special for vacation packages to Orlando that have to be booked this week? I'm not going to Orlando. I flying in the opposite direction in fact!

This whole mess is indicative of two parts of our culture.

1. The "Lundeguard" aspect. This "make your sale while you have their attention" gimmick is everywhere. I went to get a crown at the dentist. They automatically signed me up for the most expensive crown possible. "Aren't there other options?" I asked. Sure, there's the cheap stainless steel that will decay out your tooth in three years before spreading to your gums and turning your mouth into a moldy orange peel option. Or there's the super expensive, gold-porcelain kind. Isn't there anything in between? "Oh, you wouldn't want that." Hey, they got you in the seat. They've taken their barbaric "medieval dentistry" pick to your mouth. If they say there aren't other options, what the hell do you do? Hmmm... got a little off topic there.

2. In the time it took to write the first part, I completely forgot where this rant was going.

So, now that I've gone "finale of Greatest Show on Earth" on this post, I'm going to duck out.

Wit's end

Why haven't I written on this blog in 2 weeks? Because nothing has happened. I've put words on digital paper, but nothing stuck. When it doesn't stick, it really stinks. Or when it won't get stuck, it must suck. At least my rhyming hasn't followed my wit into the cold, dead grave.

Allow me to sum up two weeks of my life.

My manager was very excited with my last script. Thus prompting him to take an active interest in my next script - always a plus.

So I sent him my idea.

"Not commercial enough."

I retuned my idea.

"Not commercial enough. Try sending all your ideas and we'll see which ones we can work with."

So I did exactly that. I sent 4 ideas I had been kicking around. "Not commercial enough x4"

And now my mind is in timeout triangle.

I've just been introduced to the nasty reality of this business that I always knew existed, but told myself I would overcome. The industry is all about marketability. Don't be deceived. The idea counts for 90% of your worth. The writing ability counts for 10. It's like taking a hard math test that pours acid on your brain only to come to the end and see the teacher has included "Bonus Questions!" You know all those months of outlining, writing, and revising? All that hard work and late nights? Sweating over each individual line of dialogue? It's all extra credit. A bonus. If the script is well-written, you've gone above and beyond. But the actual test consists of coming up with a winning idea.

And that's what this industry truly is about. Bouncer after bouncer. Guard after guard. What do they do? Turn away the ideas that won't fly. Writing ability is incidental. Agents, readers, development execs, and producers aren't on the hunt for great scripts. They're on the hunt for great ideas.

Now, what's a "great" idea? One that is guaranteed to make money. One that has a ready market. One that we have seen countless times, but this time it has a new twist.

And every time I think I've stumbled upon that great idea, it's either been done, or someone doesn't get it's true greatness.

And this is the real karate-chop to the nuts of writing for Hollywood. With books, concept to writing ratio of importance is usually about 50-50. For short stories? 30-70. Screenplays. 90-10. Writing ain't enough. Execution ain't enough. If the idea doesn't reach out of the logline, unzip their fly, and start sucking their cock, you're dead in the water. The precious card-stock cover will never get a bend.

This realization has turned my brain to mush as I try to find new twists on old ideas.

I know that most freshman writers say, "I have so many great ideas, I just don't have time to write all of them." Ummm... most likely. all of those ideas are garbage. I used to have a list of a dozen scripts I needed to write. None of them have been done. They've all been vetoed before they began.

They say that screenwriters need to learn to "kill their babies" - meaning the parts of your script you like the most are probably the ones that fit the least. I'm going to go a step sooner in the development process and say, "Abort your ideas." Change your way of thinking.

For the first time, as success is in the vicinity, I'm becoming disillusioned in the industry.